December 22, 2012

  • Late nights

    We never be what we wanted to be when we were five. We never marry the person we thought we would. But all I know is that we can and we should try as fucking hard as we can to do whatever we want. We need to make ourselves happy. In the end, you don’t want to regret doing something for someone else’s sake when you should have been looking out for yourself. We will all turn out the best we can, but no one should settle for anything less than perfect without a fight.


    You were there for me for so long making me laugh while I was in tears. 
I will never let anyone take your place, cause you’re the best friend I’ve got. 
You laugh at my stupid jokes, put up with my worst moods, 
go along with my crazy ideas and you still manage to see the best in me.


    People die all the time. Every day. Every hour. There are families all over the world staring at beds that are no longer slept in, shoes that are no longer worn. Families that no longer have to buy a particular cereal, a kind of shampoo. There are people everywhere standing in line at the movies, buying curtains, walking dogs, while inside their hearts are ripping to shreds. For years. For their whole lives. I don’t believe time heals. I don’t want it to. If I heal, doesn’t that mean I’ve accepted the world without her?


    It’s no big deal. I’ve never been good enough for anyone, anything.


    When you’re around someone so much, for so long, they become a part of you, and when they change or go away, you don’t know who you are without them.


    Here’s for the ones who did their make-up and put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say he couldn’t see us that day or night. The ones that never believed it when people told us that there could be someone else. We just couldn’t believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what.


    Have you ever woke up from a really good dream & just tried to go back to sleep? Or had the flu & you promise yourself that you’ll appreciate normal so much more if you could just get back to it? That’s the way I feel; I just want things to go back to the way they were.


    No one deserves to be treated that way. So even if you love him with your entire heart, with every fiber of your being, with so much passion that it hurts to think about, you need to forget what you want and remember what you deserve.


    Love is never going away, and it may hurt like hell but it never goes away. It’s always there no matter how much we say we don’t want it. We do, we always do. Let love open the door and come in. It may hurt like hell but it’s all worth it in the end; I promise.


    I think life is simpler than we tend to think. We look for answers and more answers. But there are no answers. Things happen in life, good things and bad. People say, ‘why did it happen to me?’ Well, why not? Some people win the lottery, and others die in a car crash. it happens, and there is nothing we can do about it. The universe doesn’t care what happens to you.


    I need you to tell me something, and I need you to be honest. Why did you do it? Why did you make her fall for you when you had no intentions of catching her? Was it some kind of sick joke because if it was it wasn’t funny. You can’t go around and fuck with girls hearts that way. You have no idea how much you can ruin them. All because of you she’s going to think that all guys are just like you. She’s going to second guess her feelings and she’s going to only hear lies even when it’s the honest to god truth. Because of you she’s going to build walls around her heart, but I know her, she’s amazing and one day another guy, a great guy, will come along and he’s going to have to fight for her heart, but I have complete faith that he will knock those walls down.


    Where were you when I needed you the most?


    I still miss you, but not like I did before. The intense aching I felt isn’t there anymore. I still whisper your name, though not as often as I used to. Now it may be once before the day is through. I still hear your voice replaying in my mind, but it’s fading now. Soon, silence I will find. I still long for you, to feel your touch, but it’s not like before. I don’t dream it as much. I still think about you and wonder how you are, but my feelings have changed and they don’t go as far. I still feel you sometimes. Maybe you’re thinking of me or maybe it’s just a little memory of how it used to be. I still love you but it’s just not as strong because I’m letting you go now, so we can both move on. You still have a piece of my heart because I always feel you here. Now I’m hoping and praying that that, too, will quickly disappear. This will be my last goodbye, I’ve nothing else to say. Everything I felt for you can now just fade away.


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