January 3, 2013

• Hello Bombshell

  

  Never ignore a gut feeling, but never believe that it’s enough.

  
  

  You were everything I ever wanted and I was so close to having you. But being close doesn’t mean you have it. It’s just something to tease you into believing you can achieve it. It’s letting you fight as hard as you can for it, and when you’ve almost grasped it, it disappears and you’re left with nothing. You cry and you cry, beg and pray, but it doesn’t come back. You were so close, but you lost it. Nothing will ever be the same. You know that if you had just pushed a little harder, you would’ve had it. And the pain of being so close hurts more than having it and losing it. Because you never got the chance to have it at all.

  
  

  Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if we never met. it would have been simpler; yes easier maybe, but then I realized that it also would be incomplete.

  
  

  I’ve been messed with, let down, and played too many times. I wonder what people think of me too much, and I’m way too judgemental. My heart is big, but I have my selfish moment. I love to be in big groups, but I love to be alone. Every song on my iPod has a special memory or a regret behind it. I don’t like going through old pictures because I miss what used to be. I tend to over think things and trust way too many people. I have the people I’d love to pack up and leave with, and there are some people I wish would just disappear. I don’t cry very often, but when I do, I can’t stop. I hate the word goodbye and I wish it didn’t exist. I hate liars, though I lie myself. I have secrets hidden that even I don’t know. I’m still finding things out about myself, so don’t be quick to judge.

  
  

  Because how can you be friends with someone when what you really want is so much more?

  
  

  Imagine a future moment in your life where all your dreams come true. You know, it’s the greatest moment of your life and you get to experience it with one person. Who’s standing next to you?

  
  

  Maybe that’s just growing up. When you’re young, you tell yourself things like “Well, if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be” as if that actually meant something, just because it sounds like it does. I think you can say something like that so blithely because you expect to stumble onto something else just as wonderful just around the next bend in the road. But people are rare perfect unique things, and just because everyone really does live a life full of farewells doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least realize what it really means to say goodbye to something that meant everything. Just because you will survive and get over it doesn’t mean you should let it go.

  
  

  Don’t settle for anything less than someone who loves you. Don’t love when you’re lonely, love when you’re ready. Don’t think that it happens all the time, either. Holding hands while walking down a high school hallway isn’t love. Real love is hard to come by, but it comes. Maybe not for a while, but it shows up at some point. All of us are loved, but sometimes that person you want isn’t in your life yet. Don’t worry. They will be. Stop waiting for it.

  
  

  You’re not my type but I think I like that idea because my type usually breaks my heart.

  
  

  You know, I used to spend every day thinking about you and dreaming about you, and every time you walked by I lost myself. Do you know what that feels like? And you couldn’t possibly know what it feels like to have that person not have the same feelings back. Look, I’m sorry if you miss the way I looked at you, but I don’t miss the way you never looked at me.

  
  

  To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage because we don’t want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.

  
  

  To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love; but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love; to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy; therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

  
  

  • 11:17 pm
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