September 5, 2012

• you’re a wonderful thing and that’s obvious

  

  Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And fortunately, when there aren’t any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true.

  

  If given the chance, what’s a girl to do? You really want to know what’s going on in my head? If so I’ll have to tell you with my lips. Lovely lips, tangles in sheets. Who needs love when you’ve got insecurities?

  

  Who knows, maybe I loved you too deep inside, but I had enough strength to let that hide. And now the distance, takes your farther away each day. I wish I had the strength to ask you to stay.

  

  What I have with him is worth it. It is worth every lonely night, every tear I cry from missing him, and the pain I feel from not having him close. It is worth it because he is my one and only. When I picture myself years from now, I see only him. No matter how painful distance can be, not having him in my life would be worse.

  

  Take some time and learn to breathe and remember what it means to feel alive and to believe something more than what you see. I know there’s a price for this, but some things in life you must resist.

  

  There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.

  

  I’ve always known that it’s hard to move you, I’d give my life for the words to soothe you. Still they end up trapped behind my lips. Oh, how you leave me tongue tied. You’ve got me wishing I could stay the whole night, I’m afraid to fall in love with you.

  

  The best feeling is listening to someone’s heartbeat and knowing that it’s beating for nobody, but you.

  

  We’re both so young and stupid; you should have seen what I did. One too many drinks, just let me explain. We shared that bottle like we shared that kiss, and no one is to know about this.

  

  Nobody wants to admit this, but bad things will keep on happening. Maybe that’s because it’s all a chain, and a long time ago someone did the first bad thing, and that led someone else to do another bad thing, and so on. You know, like that game where you whisper a sentence into someones’ ear, and that person whispers it to someone else, and it all comes out wrong in the end. But then again, maybe bad things happen because it’s the only way we can keep remembering what good is supposed to look like.

  

  Please just don’t give up on me. Because underneath all my mistakes, imperfections, and disappointments, I’m just a simple girl who really does love you, and I’m sorry if sometimes I’m just a little too shy to show it.

  

  Oh my god this town, it feels like a headache, and all the words inside my mouth won’t come through. I’ve got this pain in my head that I can’t shake when I remind myself I can’t get to you. And it rained all day. And I figured it out I’m not the person that I used to be, washed away. Please someone make me okay because I’m feeling like I might take today and make my way through the town, the streets, the pouring rain. Cause some days it seems like the clouds won’t stay away.

  

  I wish I could laugh, but it’s hard when you’re image is in my mind. And who knows maybe my heart’s been breaking. I can’t pretend, I won’t pretend. Oh, I hate you cause you’re just like me. But I crave you cause you’re everything I need. You know, I’d trade you for a better soul anyday.

  

  When you have to do the right thing you don’t worry about what happens next. You just do it. And you trust that doing the right thing will get you through somehow. And you don’t worry about dying because living with it is worse.

  

  • 3:51 pm
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