October 2, 2012

• Maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano..

  

  I love my name just because of how you say it. I love the way you stare at me when you think I’m not looking. I love the way you lean in close whenever I tell you something, even though we both know you heard  me. I love the sweet things you say to me, even when I’m screaming at you. I love how you love me and aren’t afraid to show it. I love how you make me want to be a better person than I ever thoughtI could be. But mostly, I love you. All the good things, all the bad, all the mistakes, all the surprises, all the imperfections, all of it… just because they’re yours. 

  

  I had sworn to myself that I would stop talking to you like I was head over heels in love with you, but from now on just talk like you were no-one special to me. But there you were, looking brighter then you ever did before. And I couldn’t breathe.

  

  Not a day goes by that your face doesn’t appear in my head.. Still. Not even a minute goes by without wondering how you are. I loved you, I still do.

  

  I like how sleeping next to someone means more than sex sometimes. It’s the body’s way of saying “I trust you to be at my side at my most vulnerable time.” You do not have any defenses when you are sleep. You tell no lies.

  

  Even after every bad thing he’d done to me, every lie he’d ever told, every girl he’d ever kissed, I knew somewhere deep down inside he really did love me, in his own messed up way. Because you can’t keep coming back to the same person time after time if those feelings aren’t there.

  

  There’s another thing to learn about tears: They can’t make somebody who doesn’t love you anymore love you again.

  

  You’ll see me as the happiest girl in the world. You’ll see me with a guy that treats me right and loves me more than?himself. You’ll see all that you could have had and you’ll regret letting me go. But the thing I want you to see most is that I survived without you.

  

  Ignore me. I’m sad and I will make you sad. We will disappoint and hurt and leave each other – and then you will forget me. I become too attached to people too easily. People like you. It’s already happened, but I don’t want to ask too much of you. I don’t want to ruin all the fun you’re having. I’ll just leave now. I’ll go away so you can enjoy yourself.

  

  I don’t regret anything: not the three hour phone calls, the stolen kisses, the smiles and laughs, not even the way you broke my heart. That’s how much I loved you.

  

  You’re worth more than that. More than a replacement, the girl he goes to when he only wants a girlfriend. He may not see that, but someone else will. So set yourself free from him, because I promise you will eventually get what you deserve. You will find what you’re worth.

  

  The one thing I hate the most is saying goodbye. It’s never been easy for me. I mean, how do you approach the concept of goodbye? Goodbyes are all different. Some are for a day, some are for a month, but others are forever. And the concept of forever is hard to accept.It’s like, “Hey, I’m never going to see you again. Goodbye.” It doesn’t feel complete. But I think that’s what goodbyes are. They’re incomplete, and you honestly don’t know how long the goodbye will last. It’s a part of life.

  

  And all of your things, tell the sweetest storyline. Your tears on theses sheets and you footsteps are down my hall, so tell me what i did, i can’t find where the moment when wrong at all. You can be mad in the morning, i’ll take back what i said, just don’t leave me alone here. It’s cold baby, come back to bed.

  

  I wish you knew how much this hurts. How every second of every day I’m holding my stomach and fighting back tears. Just for one day, I wish you could feel how I felt and maybe you’d change your mind.

  

  • 8:42 pm
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