January 5, 2013
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Expect nothing, and you’ll never be disappointed.
I think that’s what’s wrong with the world; no one says what they really feel, they always hold it inside. They’re sad, but they don’t cry. They’re happy, but they don’t dance or sing. They’re angry, but they don’t scream. Because if they do, they feel ashamed and that’s the worst feeling in the world. So everyone walks with their heads down and no one sees how beautiful the sky is.
It’s probably the wrong time to tell you. But, well, maybe it’s the perfect time. I realize how incredibly confusing things are between us right now. I can’t even begin to explain our relationship. You probably can’t either. But I just want you to know that if you ever need me, I’ll always be here for you. All you have to do is ask.
Because sometimes there is no easy way out. You just have to grin and bear it. Sometimes the only escape route is to go straight through the flames. Just brace yourself and bite your lip. Sometimes you have to sever the ties clean off.
The hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself lookign for you. And when the feelings got too strong, I’d write you another letter. But I never sent them, in fear of what I might find. By then, you’d gone on with your life and I didn’t want to think about you loving someone else. I want to remember us like we were that summer. i didn’t want to ever forget that.
Even a good player could someday be a toy of a better player. The game is called karma.
Well things have been kind of heavy these days, trying to figure out which road to take. There is many decisions to be made, and the only time I feel okay is when I’m in your arms.
But most of the time I think that I just wasn’t enough.
The one thing I didn’t do, though, all the way home, was look at myself. Not in the side mirror. Not in the rear-view. At every stoplight, every time I downshifted, I picked a point up a head to focus on. I didn’t want to see myself like this.
The scariest thing was we didn’t even have to be together for you to break my heart.
You should always say yes to your happiness, even if it means saying no to someone else. God wants you to be happy, and He wouldn’t want you to be with someone who couldn’t make you feel that way.
Don’t hold me back. I’m going places. With or without you, I’m going to be something.
Sometimes you just have to turn your back and walk away, whether you’re walking out on your friends, or the love of your life. Sometimes letting go and moving on is the hardest thing to do, but the best thing in the end.
