January 8, 2013
-
It’s not always rainbows and butterflies
I just want something beautiful. I wanna look in your eyes. I wanna listen to you sing my favorite song and cry. I wanna reach into your oceans. I wanna calm your sea and your storms. I wanna let you take a hold of this sinking ship and lead me home. I wanna pack up and move with you, and never look behind. I wanna take your hand as we chase down the skyline. I wanna tell you my stories, and wake you up in the middle of the night. I want you to tell me I’m wrong. And I just want you to smile at me when I’m right.
I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.
My point is, there are a lot of people in the world. No one ever sees everything the same way you do; it just doesn’t happen. So when you find one person who gets a couple of things, especially if they’re important ones, you might as well hold on to them. You know?
But most of all, don’t forget this. Don’t forget that you deserve love, & nothing less. Never anything less.
I’m a very independent girl and some people think I’m weird because of it but that doesn’t bother me. Just because I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe in when everyone else is sitting down, that’s no reason to follow the crowd. Because maybe, just maybe, I’ll make someone’s life better because I wasn’t afraid.
You said I meant the world to you, I guess the world isn’t very valuable in your eyes.
If I die tomorrow, there will be people who have totally different memories of me. To one person I might be the bitch who thought she was better. To another person I might be the ugliest person on this planet. To her I might be the gorgeous, lucky girl who she despised because I was spoiled rotten. To another girl I might be the girl who got really good grades, so jealousy erupted. To him I might be the girl with the annoying laugh. To another guy I could be remembered as the girl who wasn’t anything to him. Maybe I’ll be remembered as the girl who was always on her phone, or the girl my roommate disliked. But none of that matters. You know why? By my best friends I’ll be remembered as the girl with the contagious laugh and the girl they would go to if they ever needed anything. By my boyfriend I’ll be remembered as the most amazing and beautiful girl he has ever met. But most of all, I’ll be remembered by my enemies as the greatest thing they couldn’t add up to.
Lets go back, we both know it wasn’t supposed to end like this.
Do whatever you want, who gives a shit? Rob a bank, stop eating; go out and change the world or burn your house to the ground. Throw yours hands in the air because you just do not care! For god’s sake breathe that fucking air and live your life.
The ride with you was worth the fall.
